The experiment has failed. I’m dead in the water. But no matter, I have an extra life.
I’ve re-surfaced in my old life. But it’s all wrong, it looks awful. I’ve always wanted to remodel a home; this building needs to be gutted. I’ve deleted all but the necessities, I’m starting from scratch and doing all the things expected of this. I have the materials for a cult of personality, and the narcissism to use them. Fuck.
“‘I am Damned,’ thinks Bunny Munro, in a sudden moment of self-awareness for those who are soon to die.” (Nick Cave, The Death of Bunny Munro)
I need to think of a way to sell what I have, I have to find a way to salvage what I lost and want to find a heart to make me love myself as much as I pretend to love me.
From Will Wiesenfeld’s debut under the Baths name, “Cerulean”. Check the album out, it’s my favorite release of 2010. The album has a woozy, natural feel despite it being electronic music and feels as if the whole album is submerged in a drippy water world (minus Kevin Costner). It’s the most compassionate electronic album I’ve personally heard, the lyrics full of longing, desire and love. His lyrics are not meant to confuse and directs his passion and honesty like an arrow- as he says on “You’re My Excuse to Travel”: “…It’s always the simplest shit that means the most.”
another post that is in now way related to a real question. i love you so very much and i miss you more than i love you which is so, so very much! it was wonderful speaking with you the other night and i'm glad to hear you're doing well. we need to make a promise that we never go months without speaking again. i don't like it. can't wait until the day i actually get to see you again!
That sounds like a wonderful promise! You know what, I’m going to Bumbershoot this year up in Seattle. Sept 3rd-5th, you could stay at my place and we could go to a bunch of great shows. :D
In all honesty, I will never be that same person from when you met me. I’ve return up a lot this year. I don’t hate myself anymore. I’m eating regularly and exercising (still for the old vain reasons). And most importantly, I’m smiling- all the time. Not my old smile, I mean it when I smile know. I smile because it’s bursting through my chest. I smile and I can’t, I won’t stop it. I’m loved, honest and happy almost everyday.
So, if you have lost me, let me know you are looking. I think you’ll like who you find.
I came to realize a few months ago that I’m pansexual. Not in the way of, “I’ll fuck anything that moves”; just in the sense that if I fall for you, it doesn’t matter what gender you are. I am attracted to all genders to a certain extent, but what really attracts me is your personality, attitude and that little something special that lets me know you could be the one. I love Love, why limit yourself in finding True Love?